How Office Jargon Can Help Your Love Life

Did I see you on istock?

Debating how terms like “ping” somehow replaced confusing verbs like “talk”, and why said office terms are so contagiously used will not help you get any. Here are a few calls-to-action that might actually lead to action and give you something to talk about at work other than how fugly Courtney’s outfit is.

So you’re at a bar. You overhear a fine business-casual-clad person of the opposite sex talking about work and you say:

I was tempted by all of the low-hanging fruit in here, but I found their personalities weren’t very robust. That’s why I circled back over here to touch base with you. I also just wanted to flag that your eyes are very engaging.

She/He says: Haha, you’re ridiculous.

Blah, blah, blah talk about what each of you do for a job, how much you hate office jargon, and how it’s such a small world that you know so and so.

You say: I’d like to leverage this throwback Nelly jam and the bar’s extensive beer list to buy you a drink.

Blah, blah, blah, talk about high school and how much you loved Nelly.

You say: If you’re free, I’d love to take you to dinner by EOW. If you’re not quite sure, I have a group of influencers over there that can offer some positive feedback about me.

They say yes.

You say: Ok, great. So just to close the loop on this, I’ll ideate some restaurant ideas and call you next week. Have a good night. Thanks!

Of course, initially double-dutching into this conversation out of the blue might not be easy. Throwing these terms around may best be tipsied into at happy hour, or possibly even to take on that making moves on a co-worker tight-rope. In any case, here’s to making lemonade out of low-hanging lemons and leveraging them to get some love.

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