10 Reasons People Post about Politics on Facebook

“OMG that is such a great point!!!*%!$#! Thank you for posting about politics; On November 6th, I’m changing who I’m voting for.” Said no one ever about a political Facebook post. Besides from being a jerkoff that probably punts puppies, here are the top ten reasons people post political things on Facebook.

This “person” is referred to as “it” below, as he/she is not deserving of a personal pronoun.

  1. “It” is a domestic terrorist.
  2. No one has liked or commented on one of “it’s” status updates in 3 months. (Instead of posting about taxes, go to Buzzfeed, Grantland, Barstool Sports, Deadspin, Gawker, Pinterest or any other website your friends go to and pick a link you dial-up, Neanderthal asshat.)
  3. “It” hates fall, doesn’t have a camera phone, never buys new clothes, never has a ladies night where the dancing was CRAY, doesn’t get complimented from strangers and is ambivalent towards replacement refs.
  4. “It” has 2-3 hobbies no one knows about.
  5. “It’s” a sadistic ass that likes knowing everyone else going to Facebook on Monday hoping to creep weekend pics now has to wade through “its” insufferable bullshit instead.
  6. “It” can’t share the new indie rap artist “it’s” listening to because that would mean more than 15 people would be listening to this rap artist, instantaneously making “itself” a sellout (THE WORST) to the other 14 original listeners.
  7. “It” hasn’t gotten any in 3 months and thinks “it” will find someone else to unprotected-ly boink and not have an abortion with that also hates poor people.
  8. “It” has at least 3 of the following products: Snuggie, Foreman grill, P90X spinoff, Shape-ups, Magic Bullet, Shake Weight
  9. “It” has something genuinely funny to share about the topical issue of politics. This is the only one of these 10 that is ok. For example:blacks-for-romney?playlist=featured_videos
  10.  “It” is a domestic terrorist.

Holler

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