We all know most bikers don’t really like laws, are allergic to stop signs and can generally be fairly large pecker-heads.
After countless encounters with irritable and fat Lance Armstrong’s, I had an epiphany as one such spandex-clad douche weaved around my car as I was trying to enjoy my pumpernickel bagel with Jalapeno schmear.
This revelation my friends, was The Biker Tickler.
(Note: The spear is simply for an added level of badassness. It doesn’t have functional purposes like the feather and swatter.)
This simple, joyous apparatus is best used from the passenger seat of a car, but it’s uses are really only limited by your imagination.
If a raging hipster cuts you off and then yells at you for being a sellout, gently tickle his face with the feather end. If a cherub Floyd Landis insults your mother as he Tour de France’s it through a stop sign, whack his bitch-ass in the face with the fly swatter end.
On the other hand, if you pass a biker being a normal human being, give this saint a nice “keep up the good work” pat on the ass (with whatever end you deem appropriate). Same applies if you pass a a hunk you’d like to ride tandem with.
Obviously, The Biker Tickler is very versatile, and you’ll probs see it on QVC or Shark Tank in 2014. Until then, it still needs a slogan, some angel investing, and any guerrilla marketing tactics you can think of.