Analyzing Gangster Disguises for Fashion Week

Yes, it’s New York Fashion Week, so Big Balls is breaking down the disguises drug dealers have used to hide their identity so far this season on National Geographic’s Drugs, Inc. TV show. Say ciao to real street style people. None of that soft shit popping up on Sincerely, Jules and Fashion Toast this week. Each outfit will be graded on a fashion scale of 0 – 5 kilos (we’re wholesalers at Big Balls), and I really hope no drug dealer takes this personally.

Mr. Black – Wholesale Dealer

Fashion scale: 4 kilos

GangsterFashionWeekMrBlack

Mr. Black scores major points for the alias/outfit synergy. As a big money player, he may have to be a little careful wearing that hat this Fall though, ’cause it’s sure to turn heads.

Davis – Heroin Dealer

Fashion scale: 2 kilos

GangsterFashionWeekDavis

Is Michael Kors sponsoring drug dealers?! What the hell is going on?

Michael-Kors-Rolex-Submariner

Lee – Meth Dealer

Fashion scale: 1 kilo

GangsterFashionWeekLee

You know what they say on the streets: you either pay with your money, or you pay with your life. We’re all paying with our eyes on this one Lee.

Manolo – Drug Trafficker 

Fashion scale: 3 kilos

GangsterFashionWeekManolo

With a name like Manolo, you know he has a passion for fashion and a mean shoe game. Not bad overall, but the undershirt is amateur hour, and I’m sure he makes enough money to buy a fresher plaid.

Otis – Crack Dealer

Fashion scale: 3

GangsterFashionweekOtis

The busy mask flows nicely with his clean white tee. It’s a tough call if the mask is more fab than Manolo’s, though. Everyone knows what this calls for: Who Wore it Better, Mexican Wrestling Mask Edition!

Crash – Heroin Dealer

Fashion scale: 5

GangsterFashionWeekCrash

Game over. Crash is Hugo’s Boss. Bringing “The Flash” into this was dicey, but fashion is all about risks ladies and gentlemen, and Crash nailed it. Damn, it must feel good to be a gangster.

Holler

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