Yes, it’s New York Fashion Week, so Big Balls is breaking down the disguises drug dealers have used to hide their identity so far this season on National Geographic’s Drugs, Inc. TV show. Say ciao to real street style people. None of that soft shit popping up on Sincerely, Jules and Fashion Toast this week. Each outfit will be graded on a fashion scale of 0 – 5 kilos (we’re wholesalers at Big Balls), and I really hope no drug dealer takes this personally.
Mr. Black – Wholesale Dealer
Fashion scale: 4 kilos
Mr. Black scores major points for the alias/outfit synergy. As a big money player, he may have to be a little careful wearing that hat this Fall though, ’cause it’s sure to turn heads.
Davis – Heroin Dealer
Fashion scale: 2 kilos
Is Michael Kors sponsoring drug dealers?! What the hell is going on?
Lee – Meth Dealer
Fashion scale: 1 kilo
You know what they say on the streets: you either pay with your money, or you pay with your life. We’re all paying with our eyes on this one Lee.
Manolo – Drug Trafficker
Fashion scale: 3 kilos
With a name like Manolo, you know he has a passion for fashion and a mean shoe game. Not bad overall, but the undershirt is amateur hour, and I’m sure he makes enough money to buy a fresher plaid.
Otis – Crack Dealer
Fashion scale: 3
The busy mask flows nicely with his clean white tee. It’s a tough call if the mask is more fab than Manolo’s, though. Everyone knows what this calls for: Who Wore it Better, Mexican Wrestling Mask Edition!
Crash – Heroin Dealer
Fashion scale: 5
Game over. Crash is Hugo’s Boss. Bringing “The Flash” into this was dicey, but fashion is all about risks ladies and gentlemen, and Crash nailed it. Damn, it must feel good to be a gangster.