As a social media professional, I see a lot of humans getting frisky with all caps. Knock it the fuck off PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!!! Unless one of these situations arises, of course:
1. When you figure out your crush’s poop schedule at work
2. If someone a friend has hooked up with has got sups fat
3. You remember a phrase from your past that you can then seamlessly work into conversation – NO BITCHASSNESS.
4. Engagement announcements
5. When trolling someone complaining on Facebook. More trolling please.
6. If you’re an architect and/or mad talented with AutoCAD
7. You’re using OMFG or LOL when sending a photo of a friend that tried a new fashion look and failed miserably
It’s been five minutes and my phone still hasn’t vibrated. No one’s liked my Insta. Sadness has set in and me, myself and I are the only three friends I really need in this dog-eat-dog world. These six tips will help you avoid this pain:
What do you remember about Horace Grant? Probably not much beyond his goggles. I remember him as a champion, and a beacon for rec-spec’d glue guys everywhere. (He averaged an impressive 13.4 points and 9.1 rebounds per game during the Bulls’ three-peat btw.)
A stud like Horace should not just fade into obscurity. This is why he needs his own iPhone/Android app that adds colored goggles onto any photo you take. I could explain the benefits further, but I think these photos speak for themselves:
Get at me Horace.
Bird scientists love boobs.
I was reading Science Daily yesterday and wanted to keep you abreast of the latest scientific findings. There’s a bird called the “Blue Tit.”
Mondays are about as exciting as a silent fart that doesn’t smell. Hence, here’s another list to help you put a little more butt in that strut.
LinkedIn now lets you customize the endorsements you can provide to connections. You literally can type in whatever you want. While leadership, sales experience and SEO are all worthwhile endorsements that could enhance your job prospects, these are probably more fun.
I’m hungover. It’s Friday morning, and my celebratory TGIF flag is at half-mast. I need a cure, and no, Advil or coconut water doesn’t work you gullible, placebo-effecting muff huggers. Because of this, my real hangover cures rely almost entirely on others, but if we help each other, we can win this battle together. Here are the cures: